Completing Projects, Or In This Case, Dragging It On

I have this thing where I never want to complete a project.  I either get distracted or I feel like at some point I might be a failure.  It’s all those insecurity issues I deal with.  Maybe that is one of the character traits of a writer.  I don’t know.  But I can honestly admit I like to have a bunch of projects out there to work on, and a part of me feels a bit sad when I finally finish one.

Now, that isn’t really the case with the one children’s book I’m working on getting a query in to an agent.  The problem is, I have so much whirling around in my head dealing with the said book, that I’m a bit lost with the letter as well.  I had originally sent in the story to Brown Books publishing,  not Little Brown, so don’t get them mixed up.  Along the way with that, the story had changes made by the company.  And I applied those.  I didn’t publish with them, but I kept the changes.

Two days ago I went and looked back on my original story from two years ago, yes it’s taken me a long time, and I realized that I liked my original book much more than I like it now.  And I have been struggling with what to keep and change and do over.  Because, you see, the agent I’m gunning for isn’t like what I’ve seen of other agents.  Not that I’ve dealt with any directly.  What I can tell from interviews and such, and what made me know that he was one I wanted, were all the things that sounded like me.  This agent has a lot of my tastes and similarities.  So why would I want to send in a story that I don’t really like?

So, now in a sense I have to go back to the writing board and change a few things around.  It has helped some to rework the query letter because I’m actually enjoying the story again.  Had my mother not complained about some of the changes I had made, I wouldn’t have gone back to my original drafts and looked them over.

You sometimes get so lost in all the information you get from all different sources that you lose sight of what you originally wanted. You get advice from a friend and you tuck that in. You have an important person in the writing world tell you to change this, or change that.  You read information in books and online.  By the time you get done, your head is swimming with all the information and sometimes you don’t know what to do.  That is where I’m at.

And so, it makes for completing a project, difficult.  My mother suggested I work strictly on this book and the letter and not go on to anything else before I get it done.  I’ve seen this advice all over the blogs and internet.  Seen a lot of people write about this.  I’m sure it is good advice, but I imagine it’s hard to do as well.  Trying not to start something new when your head is filled with ideas.  However, I know that I want to get this done.  I have actually spent more time working on this darn query letter than writing the books!  Isn’t that just wrong?  And I still have issues with my synopsis.  I can’t seem to get it right!

Well, my goal, and hopefully I can stick with it, is to get the letter and book reworked quickly so I can actually get it sent off.  I had plans to send a query in January!  January, and it’s now JUNE!  I am so behind.

Writing on

~K.L.B.

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